Browsing Category: 31 Days

When Date Night Feels Like Mission Impossible

When Date Night Feels Like Mission Impossible JessicaMWhite.com

If you’re anything like us the idea of a “Date Night” makes you quiver with excitement and lament that it will never happen. And yet, date nights are one of the most heralded ways of improving your marriage. Some would even say that if you’re not having date nights, at least once a week, your marriage is doomed. Wow! Isn’t that inspiring?! Might as well hang up the wedding rings now!


When Date Night Feels Like Mission Impossible JessicaMWhite.com

Here’s the thing: I agree that Date Nights are extremely important in a marriage, but who has the time, the money, the babysitter, or the ENERGY to have a date night! I know we don’t. Any babysitter that we can find wants $15 an hour {and that’s before they know we have 5 kids}. What is a couple to do?

You have a couple of options here:

  • Forget date night and just plan on co-existing with your spouse for the foreseeable future, inviting discontent and divorce into your marriage
  • Rethink the whole concept of date night

I recommend rethinking what date night looks like.

We don’t get out much, about once every 6-8 weeks we do make a point of asking the grandparents to take kids, so that we can either go out for a quick salad {it’s a cheap date} or stay home and cook dinner {even cheaper}. Most of our date nights consist of putting the kids to bed, doing the dishes, then sitting down together with a pot of tea {and maybe a dessert or special chocolate}. At that point we do 1 of 4 things:

  1. Play a board game or some sort of activity that allows for good conversation
  2. Watch a movie that we both agree on and sit next to each other on the couch, NO PHONES or any thing else that might be a DISTRACTION
  3. We watch a video/discussion series through RightNow Media
  4. Read a book independently and spend time discussing what was read

The point of whatever you are doing is that you are doing it together, that it is creating intimacy with your spouse, whether physically or through communication. If it is not an activity that you both enjoy or it is not creating intimacy with each other DON’T DO IT! The whole point of an at home date night is that you and your spouse are focusing on each other and on your marriage.

One warning of an at-home date night: They’re not perfect! The kids may interrupt, there may be distractions {that pile of laundry glaring at you from the back of the couch}, it may not last more than 30 minutes. It’s annoying. It’s not conducive to lengthy, deep conversation, but that’s life. The same things can happen when you’re out, you just don’t notice them as much. You have to train yourself, and your kids, to deal quickly with whatever distractions there may be and move on. You can’t let it take away from the purpose of this time together.

Just as you schedule anything else in life, you have to make the time to have a date night. If you want your marriage to thrive you have to put the time into it…no excuses {whether it’s a date night or anything else}! Figure out how you can work with the time you have…be creative! If you’re at a loss for ideas then Google is always right there for suggestions. There is HOPE: a date night is do-able at least once a week, maybe even twice.

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Keep Pursuing Your Husband

31 Days of Pursuing Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.com

Thank you so much for joining me this month. I hope that you’ve enjoyed yourself, learned some new things aboutPursuing your Husband 31 Days of Tips, Tricks, Prayers, How Tos, & Why Tos to Build a More Intentional Passion with Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.com your husband and some ways that you can pursue him with ease and on a daily basis. I pray that your husband has started to notice your little ways of pursuing him {if he hasn’t, ask him!}

The most important thing is to remember to keep at it! Little things every day and once in a while a bigger something to let them know you love them. I’m praying for all of you that have put this plan into action; that your husbands will not only notice, but reciprocate, that your marriages will strengthen!

Originally I said I was doing this series as much for my marriage as anyone else, and I did. My husband knew I was doing this, because we were both trying to make a point of intentionally pursuing each other. It was helpful because I was able to sit him down and ask him how he felt the whole thing went.

He enjoyed it. Not because I was catering to him or lavishing him with gifts, but because to him, being pursued, he knew that I do want him and love him, that my showing him love {in a variety of ways} helped him to remember that he is loved, and that I am on his side, willing to fight for him {and with him, if necessary}.

All in all both of us felt that it was very good for our marriage to me intentional in doing and loving each other. The thing that helped us both to feel more loved was praying for and over each other, as well as little notes left here and there, but prayer was the big one. Knowing that the other was interceding for us, that we were making ourselves vulnerable to the other by praying over them was incredible.

For us, pursuing each other HAS to be a way of life, there is no other option. Going forward we will continue to do what we can to prioritize and pursue each other and our marriage.

Going forward for you: What does that look like? What does that mean? I recommend keep trying new and different things, have the hard talks with your husband, keep praying, keep doing the little things. There is one website that has becoming an invaluable source of information and ideas for me: The Dating Divas! Seriously, check out their site: There are tons of ideas and printables and all sorts of things to help you pursue your husband. I could write a whole website on it, but they already have, so be sure to check it out.

Keep in touch! I’d love to hear how things are going for you and your husband! If you look down a bit further I put together a freebie for you to enjoy!

Don’t forget you can find the post with ALL of the 31 posts from this series HERE, so be sure to pin it to refer back to!

Download your MARRIAGE QUOTE FREEBIE HERE
as a Thank You from me to you!

Marriage Quote Freebie

Recommended Reads for Pursuing Your Husband

Pursuing your Husband 31 Days of Tips, Tricks, Prayers, How Tos, & Why Tos to Build a More Intentional Passion with Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.com

Pursuing your Husband 31 Days of Tips, Tricks, Prayers, How Tos, & Why Tos to Build a More Intentional Passion with Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.comTomorrow is our last day, so be sure to stop back in. Here I’ve placed links to all of the recommended websites, books, and other things that I’ve mentioned over the last few weeks.

Websites

Books

Other Recommendations

Again, I’d love to hear from you about your goals for these past 31 days and your hopes going forward! Leave a comment or drop me an email at Jess.White05@gmail.com

The Most Important Part of Pursuing Your Husband

Pursuing your Husband 31 Days of Tips, Tricks, Prayers, How Tos, & Why Tos to Build a More Intentional Passion with Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.com

We’ve talked about a lot this month: From, what does it look like to pursue your husband, to figuring out his love language and rediscovering who he is, and where sex falls into all of thisThere’s one part we haven’t talked about, the most important part of pursuing your husband: YOU!

That’s right, despite all of the things we’ve talked about this month YOU are the most important part of pursuing your husband, and it’s for a very simple reason….he’s married to you. Now before you think that I’m going to give you all of these idealistic thoughts about what you need to be doing to yourself to pursue your husband, adding more things to feel guilty about when you can’t accomplish them, I’m not. What I am going to do is tell you one very simple thing….

You can’t impart what you don’t possess….
Chip Ingram

What does that mean? It means if you’re tank isn’t full, this whole pursuing-your-husband-thing is not going anywhere.

I want you to take a very long and deep look into your own heart, into your own life, and decide where you can cut back. Your kids don’t need to be involved in numerous activities, you don’t need to have the big house and the fancy cars, you don’t need to have the latest shoes or hair products….and I’m not saying having those things is unnecessary. What I am saying is there are places in your life where you can re-prioritize: Where you can find a few minutes here and there to fill yourself up.

We’ve become obsessed in our society with doing as much as we can while being empty. We praise the ones who manage to seemingly do it all, but the reality is doing it all leaves us very alone and very exhausted. I want you to think about the things that make you feel beautiful, that make you feel alive and do them for yourself. Maybe it’s taking time for a hobby, maybe it’s putting a nicer outfit on.

If you feel alive and beautiful you will be in a place that you are desiring to give and pour into others, and now, with a month full of prayers and ideas, you will be better able to pour into your husband without expecting him to reciprocate to you. Don’t wait for your husband to make you feel beautiful, do it for yourself, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!

31 Days of Pursuing Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.com

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.

Pursuing Your Husband through What You Already Do

Pursuing your Husband 31 Days of Tips, Tricks, Prayers, How Tos, & Why Tos to Build a More Intentional Passion with Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.com

Several years ago I wrote my 31Days series about using your busy work to bless others {I am working on updating all of the links for that series}, that is what we’re talking about today: How you can take the things you already do and tweak them to pursue your husband. I promise you it’s not as hard as it sounds, and very often it simply requires more of a change of heart and than anything else.

Pray about this. Pray that you would be able to do the tasks before you with a joyful heart. That you will be able to check them off and be able to tell your husband, “Hey, I got that _____ done.” These next few links are for several ways that you can pursue your husband through your busy work and how that looks.

Take your time reading through these other posts. Let them sink in deep, that you can start to see how you can use your busy work to bless and pursue your husband, to help him feel loved by you and your change of heart.

31 Days of Pursuing Your Husband @JessicaMWhite.com

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.