For both you and your husband sex is when we are most vulnerable. We feel that every physical aspect of ourselves is on display for ridicule. While your body has changed, I’m sure your husband’s has too and I’m sure there are things he’s self conscious about in sex. Talk about these things: Talk about how you can both be more comfortable with and respectful of each other’s vulnerabilities.
Take the sharing of those vulnerabilities as a gift, use them only for good. Use sex as a way to become closer with your husband, a place in which truly you are both figuratively and literally naked and unashamed before each other. These are the things that no one else in the world will {and should} know about the other.
Now, in order to get to the actual sex part you have to put in the actual pursuing part. Most people think of foreplay as just the actions immediately prior to actual sex, but it doesn’t have to be, it can be an all day pursuit. Once you’ve talked to your husband and asked him questions about what he likes and what things rev his engine, you will have an infinitely better idea of how to be in hot pursuit of your husband.
Maybe it’s passionate kissing in a closet for a few seconds, maybe squeezing his bum, or whispering something in his ear. Maybe it’s lingerie or notes of suggestion. The point is to find out what gets him going, then figure out what gets you going and meet in the middle. If lingerie is not your thing, then it isn’t going to be something you’re willing to do {and your husband will know if you’re not comfortable and that will do nothing for what you’re trying to accomplish}.
Honestly, if you’re just being physical with your husband and looking to get him riled up, that will more than likely rile him up: It’s the power of suggestion! Just as it’s flattering to us when we are found attractive and desirous it is the same for our husbands; let the person who finds him most desirous be you.
***One thing I really truly want to reiterate here is that your marriage bed should only ever be the two of you. Don’t be discussing your marriage and sex with others. This falls under the vulnerability thing….just as you want to know that your secrets are safe with your husband, respect that he has invited you into his vulnerabilities too
*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.
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