{I wrote this during my freshman year of college, September 2000}
It is the common person who doesn’t receive mass amounts of glory for the accomplishments and risks taken in his or her lives, but it is these uncommon stories that are the mark of something incredible. I speak of the admiration I have for my mother, the decisions she has made, and the life she has lived.
My mom has never received the proper amount of recognition, respect, accolades, you name it: I have failed that part of my duty as her daughter. At nineteen, after two years of college, my mother had decided to drop out, wanting to get married and start a family instead. I have often belittled her decision. She has told me that college had held no meaning for her, that her calling was to be a wife and a mother.
I have always held this decision of her’s in two lights: Fear and awe. Fear, because {sometimes} I understand and sympathize with how she felt some twenty years ago. Awe, because I find it inspiring that she had so much faith in her own future. She now tells me that my decisions are my own, and not to be afraid of what the consequences may be. I often wonder if she ever regretted not having finished college. I asked her once; her response was “Why should I regret it? I have never been happier, even through the hard times.”
“Hard times,” I always found it humorous when she said that. Since we moved from Glendale, NY, fourteen years ago, we have had nothing but hard times. Growing up I never remember being deprived of anything; vacations, clothes, birthday parties, or toys.
As a cure for our “hard times” my mother and father have been entrepreneurs: My father comes up with the new business idea, my mother supports him. Their most recent business venture is a butcher shop with a small restaurant in Delhi. My mother had a secure office job for the past twelve years and quit because she had wanted to be with her family, working in our store.
I see my mom come home from a thirteen-hour day, exhausted, and still she cooks dinner, cleans, does the laundry, and pays the bills. Many times I think a lesser woman would leave, not able to handle hard work combined with the stress of more month than money. I think, “I wish I could be as strong as she is.” I know that I am the lesser woman who would have ran from the hard times.
Another risk my mother has accomplished was her decision to home school my younger sister. In our progressive times home schooling is becoming more and more popular. My brother and I both attended public school; which is why her decision was a shock. My mother had been going to college to be a teacher before she dropped out. I find it amusing to see how things happen; she gave up teaching to be a mother. In exchange for that she became a teacher to her children.
Running a home and a store, sometimes it’s difficult for her to set aside time to teach my sister. I tell her, “Send her to public school, it would be easier.” She agrees that it would be, but she’d be letting them both down, my sister and herself. My sister is now in third grade and I can see how she has benefited from my mother’s decisions and persistence.
I now see the strength and beauty behind my mother and I wonder if I could do as she has. I admire the things that she has done. Sometimes it is hard to see her strengths, because I am blinded by what society labels as “weaknesses.”
~*~
So this Mother’s Day….Mom, thank you for being you! For being a wonderful example of a wife and mother, for admitting your imperfections and helping me on my own path along these journeys.
What letter do you long to write to a mom or perhaps your Mom?
If you’re looking for a heart-warming and tear-jerking gift for the “mothers” in your life, get them a copy of Mother Letters. This sweet collection of letters will draw you in, encourage you, and help you not to feel so alone in one of the toughest and most rewarding jobs there is.