Depending on who you are, you may or may not consider this to be the most important aspect of your marriage. Chances are though that to your husband it’s pretty important. Every once in a while some study floats around for a bit about how differently men and women perceive sex. Women view sex as a by product of romance, men view romance as a by product of sex. The struggle is to get both husband and wife on the same page, so that sex is not a battle ground.

The best way to do that is to sit down with your husband and talk. Talk about sex. If the idea of talking to your husband about sex makes you uncomfortable, then you REALLY need to talk about sex, because it should never be an uncomfortable conversation between you. Find out what he likes: When, how, where, what….all of it. Once you know that, then think about what you things you like and how to compromise on them.

Sex needs to be a common ground between you. It’s not meant as a weapon or tool of manipulation. It is meant as one of the deepest ways to connect with your husband, both physically and emotionally. It is the way in which you can build him up the most, or completely tear him down. Pursuing your husband in the bedroom is one of the most important, if not THE most important way in which your husband feels like a man, and feels your love. 

In our society we’ve gotten away from the whole waiting until marriage to have sex. We truly have diminished the value and importance of sex within our marriage. Our society has cheapened it to be just S-E-X and not this truly deep and meaningful experience. And while society may have cheapened it, it hasn’t changed how our bodies and minds are wired to respond to sex. It is truly, TRULY one of the single most important aspects of your marriage with your husband.

I’m going to share something with you {mom you can stop reading now}:

I think one of the biggest reasons why our marriage has survived through some of the hardest things {hard things…divorce-level things} is because we didn’t stop having sex. We kept pursuing one and other in our marriage bed. If we had withdrawn into ourselves we would have felt even more detached and adrift from each other, and more than likely our marriage would have crumbled as a result of that.

For reasons beyond either of us, it was during those times that we intensely wanted each other, and I can only chalk that up to God, because for all logic they should have been times that we both shutdown from the other and wanted nothing to do with the other in such a raw and vulnerable way.

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.