This week marks National Infertility Awareness Week, and this years theme is ‘You Are Not Alone’; which is one of the hardest things to remember when you’re dealing with infertility. When it seems like the world is filled with carefree bumps, there are tears and fears that you will never be one of them.
Seven years ago, after already trying for 2 years, we had our first doctor’s appointment. Six years ago we found out, after several failed cycles {the last that we could afford}, we were expecting a precious little one. Four years ago, again after several failed cycles, we found out that we were expecting not one or two, but THREE precious little ones. This year, after a miraculous single cycle, we are expecting our fifth little one.
I’ve sat in our doctors’ waiting room more times than I can even remember, and every single time I would look around at these men and women, not knowing individual stories, but knowing the fear and pain, the hope and disappointment that was in their hearts. Everyone sat with heads bowed, intent on their phones {7 years ago it was a book or magazine}, trying to dissolve into the leather couches. We were united in our struggles, but all desperately wanted to disappear, to be any place but where we were.
Seven years ago that was me. This past fall I wanted nothing more than to look these men and women in the eye and tell them, “YOU ARE NOT ALONE!” To hug them, to tell them they will survive this because they are stronger than they realize, to give them something to cling to. But I didn’t.
Because in this battle it doesn’t matter if you’re desperate for your first or hoping for one more, you feel alone. You are afraid of what life may or may not look like for you. You know that the doctors are only human, science can only go so far.
Somehow we need to know that we are not alone, that there is someone who is walking the same path, who has walked the same path. Who gets it and understands the swirling maelstrom of your mind and heart. We need to allow women, and men, to be vulnerable enough to share their struggle and be embraced and supported.
I was blessed. I managed to find an incredible group of women through message boards and blogs who understood, who could share their information and fear, who held my virtual hand and gave me a virtual shoulder to cry on. They helped me to realize that no matter what I was not alone. I was not facing the unknown future without having someone {besides my husband} beside me. Sometimes, having that someone, knowing that you are not alone, can make all the difference, because sometimes we need someone to just walk beside us and sometimes we need someone to carry us.
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