Depending on who you are, you may or may not consider this to be the most important aspect of your marriage. Chances are though that to your husband it’s pretty important. Every once in a while some study floats around for a bit about how differently men and women perceive sex. Women view sex as a by product of romance, men view romance as a by product of sex. The struggle is to get both husband and wife on the same page, so that sex is not a battle ground.

The best way to do that is to sit down with your husband and talk. Talk about sex. If the idea of talking to your husband about sex makes you uncomfortable, then you REALLY need to talk about sex, because it should never be an uncomfortable conversation between you. Find out what he likes: When, how, where, what….all of it. Once you know that, then think about what you things you like and how to compromise on them.

Sex needs to be a common ground between you. It’s not meant as a weapon or tool of manipulation. It is meant as one of the deepest ways to connect with your husband, both physically and emotionally. It is the way in which you can build him up the most, or completely tear him down. Pursuing your husband in the bedroom is one of the most important, if not THE most important way in which your husband feels like a man, and feels your love. 

In our society we’ve gotten away from the whole waiting until marriage to have sex. We truly have diminished the value and importance of sex within our marriage. Our society has cheapened it to be just S-E-X and not this truly deep and meaningful experience. And while society may have cheapened it, it hasn’t changed how our bodies and minds are wired to respond to sex. It is truly, TRULY one of the single most important aspects of your marriage with your husband.

I’m going to share something with you {mom you can stop reading now}:

I think one of the biggest reasons why our marriage has survived through some of the hardest things {hard things…divorce-level things} is because we didn’t stop having sex. We kept pursuing one and other in our marriage bed. If we had withdrawn into ourselves we would have felt even more detached and adrift from each other, and more than likely our marriage would have crumbled as a result of that.

For reasons beyond either of us, it was during those times that we intensely wanted each other, and I can only chalk that up to God, because for all logic they should have been times that we both shutdown from the other and wanted nothing to do with the other in such a raw and vulnerable way.

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.

I get it, life is busy. We’re constantly rushing about trying to get and keep all our fires going. In all that rushing though we simply forget that we need to touch and be touched by other people, and it’s not something that takes a ton of time or effort. We simply need to just reach out and touch our husband’s.

Maybe it’s as simple a peck on the cheek good-bye or hello. Maybe it’s putting your hand on their arm when you’re speaking to them. Maybe it’s grabbing them and pulling them into the laundry room with you for a kiss. Maybe it’s something more, maybe it’s something less. But it needs to be something.

Our husbands need to know that we want them, that we enjoy them, that we find them irresistible and can’t keep our hands {and lips} off of them! I want you to make it a priority this week to touch your husband, even if it’s just putting your hand on his shoulder if he’s sitting down. Do something to physically touch your husband.

Also, I want you to think about when your husband touches you: How do you respond? Do you reciprocate? Think about this. Think about your reactions. Do you not respond to it? Brush it off? Act annoyed? Work on making your responses to his touch more positive. Touch goes both ways and just as much as you need to touch your husband, you need to actually respond {and respond positively} to his touch.

*Here’s the disclaimer I have to say: In no way do I support or suggest that you should accept or give touches that are unwelcome or abusive. 

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.