Browsing Category: Making a Home

When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan….

I can’t seem to get these words out…mostly because I don’t know how to say what I want to say, and it’s not something I want to share with everyone.

Things on the income/employment front have been less than stellar.

We had our usual fair season in August, which was a mess. It rained all week. To the point that the fairground parking lot was closed because of the mud. We lost money this year. Then the following week, after a variety of things (many long standing) Matt quit his job with my parents. Friday is his last day. He has one more paycheck, and then I don’t know.

We won’t starve. We won’t be homeless. God’s got this. All of this I know and yet…

My anxiety has been through the roof. My stress level is sky rocketing. I honestly don’t feel it’s because of us not having any income soon. I truly do feel that it’s a wide variety of things, because I’ve been feeling this way for a while. I’ve just been ignoring it.

We’ve had HUGE changes in our lives. In the Spring we decided to send the kids to public school, because they wanted to go and because I felt I was drowning in homeschooling and failing them terribly (logically I know I wasn’t). Our house has become a huge stress point for me because it is in such a state of chaos from unfinished and unorganized construction projects, compounded by 5 kids. Throw in the looming unknown, and I think it’s just the perfect storm.

All of this to say…I’m not ok. I’m really, REALLY struggling with life right now. I’m trying to see the things that God is pointing out to me and I’m either in such a state of denial that I’m oblivious or I’m just full of pride with how well I’m handling things. Either way isn’t good.

Matt will find a job, or I will. The house projects will get done (Hey…maybe that’s why he hasn’t found a job yet…so that he can help me get our house in order…looking on the bright side). The kids are loving school (for the most part). Life is truly good. I just wish my heart would stop racing and this feeling of panic would go away.

I listened to a podcast (I can’t remember which) and the person being interviewed said something about her struggle when she and her husband were in a season of no income. That she felt like she was supposed to DO something, make money somehow, rather than just sitting back and letting God. BUT God wanted her to just trust in him to provide everything, to not be busy doing.

That’s where I am. Because doesn’t God help those who help themselves? Aren’t I supposed to be the wife/mom who works hard for her family, bringing in an income?

Right now that’s what I’m doing…putting all my entrepreneurial skills to use. Selling the things we don’t need (furniture, electronics, etc) and setting myself up to do several holiday craft markets where I’m hoping I’ll sell my beeswax candles and some other home decor things Matthew and I make. BUT is that what I’m SUPPOSED to be doing?!

We’re still hoping Matthew will get a job interview somewhere. I’ve applied for two different jobs, one of them is a temporary fix, the other is more of a commitment of time, but a perfect fit for me (director of our town library). I haven’t been offered either job, but I’m in a tumult as to which is the right one to accept.

I have no idea….I need God to give me a swift kick in the rear or slap across the face, because I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing or how to decide on anything.

For now….I’m thinking of starting my etsy shop back up and hopefully between that and holiday markets that I’m signed up for we will be able to keep the lights on.

 

Comment A Look at Our Life, Faith, Intentional Living, Making a Home

Master Bathroom Reveal

Here it is: 18 months after we moved back into our house. I can officially call the master bathroom done. Of course, there are a few little things that need to get touched up, but it’s all finished. This room was ridiculous. We went through 3 toilets. The floor was stained, then painted twice. Fixtures had to be spray painted. It was fun!
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The toilets: We originally had bought a really nice Kohler toilet, water efficient and all that. The only problem was it didn’t work. Literally there was a manufacturer’s defect and water did not leave the toilet bowl. We got another one. Then that one, for whatever reason {a child I’m thinking} had a crack along the whole back and was leaking water…flushed water. After that we were done…we waited a couple of months before buying a cheap $88 toilet, which has given us no problems and is just as water efficient as the $300 toilet.

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The vanity and sink are from Ikea {Hemnes 42″ vanity and top}. They’re great! It’s really solid, tons of counter space, and lots of storage. Until this renovation I’d never given much thought to drawers vs doors: Drawers win every time for me now!

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I could not find plain black light fixtures or shower curtain rod, so I bought basic dark fixtures then spray painted them. It worked and so far has held up fantastically.

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The faucet is Pfister’s Ashfield. I actually saw these faucets in chrome at a Cabela’s store in PA. I loved them! I came running out and asked Matthew if he’d noticed the faucets, he had. I debated spray painting this black too, but given the water and everything else figured it wasn’t worth the potential nightmare.IMG_1576

The vanity mirror was one that I got at a lawn sale for $10…I love it! It’s huge, the color was perfect, it was old. Mirrors of similar size were $200+

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The soap dish is Mary & Martha’s Grace and Gratitude Small Pedestal server. I had 3 of these, had no idea what to do with them, decided to sell them and sold all but one, then decided it was perfect with some white stones from the beach for a soap dish.

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Above the toilet we put some very basic shelves, painted the same color as the floor, to store things in a basket {still need to spray paint it}. We have no closet in the bathroom…the washer/dryer took precedence, so the extra storage is nice.

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We did put a pocket door in this and our bedroom…they are so much more forgiving with space. There’s no trying to finagle around a door to get to things. The shower curtain is from Amazon.com. It was $20 and was perfect!

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Our towel hooks are ones that my aunt gave to me for my birthday years ago…they’ve been a variety of colors and are fantastic, strong, detailed hooks. I painted them the same color as the floor.

It was hard to get a picture of the entire shower. The blue/gray tile was another issue. I had found the perfect tile from one company, couldn’t get it, found it from another, they supposedly shipped it, I never got it {even though they charged me}, called my credit card company and immediately received a letter from the tile company that they were out of stock and crediting me back. I ended up getting this tile from mosaictiledirect.com, which was good. It’s not exactly what I wanted, but it was very close {the other tile was white}.

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This is a double headed shower just as our downstairs shower is. We really like having two shower heads, because we pretty much always shower together…no one is having to stand there freezing until it’s their turn. The faucets are Pfister’s Ashfield to match the sink. The tub was a nightmare. I had ordered a Kohler cast iron apron front tub, with a left drain {per what I was told}.

When they went to install it I was told I’d ordered the wrong tub, I hadn’t, they told me the wrong tub. We can only have a right drain in this space. We ended up having to go HomeDepot and buying a Bootz cast iron tub for $200. {There were a lot of expensive mistakes in this bathroom!} Again, if I’d just done what I wanted to to begin with we wouldn’t have had an issue.

Overall, I’ve been rather pleased with how it all turned out. Of course, there are things I would’ve done differently {if money hadn’t been an issue…when is it not?!} For now, it works, I like it, and it makes me smile.

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