One of the best books out there on how to pursue your husband better is Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. The basic premise of the book is learning what your and your spouse’s love language is…the things that specifically make one feel loved. There’s 5 languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. I’m not going to get too into it, but suffice it to say, go check out the book, or at the very least the website {there is a quiz on there to help you figure what your love language is}.

The whole idea of learning your husband’s love language is very simple so that you are better able to pursue him in a way that actually holds meaning to him; not that you’re putting forth tons of effort in a certain way that means nothing to them. This happens for most couples, particularly when their love languages aren’t the same.

If you can’t figure your husband’s love language on your own, ask if he’d take the quiz, or just ask him: “What are 3 things that I can do that make you feel loved?” Here’s a hint: I guarantee one of them will be food 😉 You’re welcome! Once you know your husband’s love language you will be better able to pursue him, without wasting your efforts.

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.

Last weekend Matthew and I cleaned our room. Part of this whole pursuing thing, for us, is to be much more intentional in our time and spaces together. We dealt with a lot of the clutter and are in the process of trying to make our bedroom a retreat from the world, but I digress. One of the things I rediscovered last weekend was the Best Man speech that Matthew’s brother gave at our wedding.

In the speech he talked about how well we know some one, and seemingly the longer we know them, the less we KNOW them. He used a very “scientific” study based off a series of questions that had been asked of me and Matthew separately and how we answered them {the other’s favorites etc} and compared that to his own list of questions with his new wife {they were married 55 days before us, and had been together for about half the time Matthew and I had}. The bottom line: We answered a 1/3 of the questions right about the other one, and they had answered the majority correctly.

The longer we know someone, the less we actually KNOW them! Spend the time re-discovering your husband!

While the whole speech was very funny about this knowing someone less. The truth is the longer we know someone, we very often truly do begin to KNOW them less. We get to a place of comfort and complacent and suddenly we look at this person and think, “WHO ARE YOU?!” This is the single most common reason for divorces in long marriages. Somewhere along the way we forgot to keep learning who our spouse is!

This week we’re going to be looking at how we can rediscover who our husbands are, how we can pursue a deeper knowledge of them, so that we can better love them. Are you ready?

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.