Tag Archives: Intentional Living

Mamas…it’s OK to Not Love the Things of Mommyhood

Mamas it's ok @JessicaMWhite.com

Maybe you’ve spent years and thousands of dollars to have that little one your holding, maybe you just wanted to be a mom and it happened, maybe you weren’t planning on being a mom, but it happened anyways. No matter, I want to tell you something…it’s OK to get tired of it sometimes. To get tired of the demands, the discipline, the whining, the not being able to just do “whatever” for dinner. It’s OK.

Just because we CHOSE, or were chosen for, this life of mommyhood doesn’t mean that we have to love, or even like, every minute of it. Just because we may have been through hell and back in the getting and having of these little people doesn’t mean that we’re NOT beyond grateful for them in spite of the tough times. Or that we’re not allowed to struggle with all of it.

Mamas it's ok @JessicaMWhite.comI remember going through infertility and thinking “I will never complain about anything, because I will just be beyond ecstatic to FINALLY have a child”.

Sometimes I still feel guilty complaining, then chuckle to myself about it, because, honestly, no one knows just how motherhood will be. Nothing and no one can prepare you for what’s ahead.

No other mom, even your mom, can tell you what it will be like, because no one is doing what you’ve done before. No one has mixed your personality with those of your little ones. This is more than once in a lifetime.

Just because someone else makes it look like a cake-walk with their own kids, doesn’t mean that your life should too. Or that their life even looks like that all the time. There are moms with more {and less} kids than us that I look at and think, “Boy, I couldn’t do that”, and I know others look at us and think the same thing.

I love my kids, but I don’t always love the stuff that came along with them. Our children, while a package deal {every child comes with poopie diapers, sleepless nights, and tantrums etc}, doesn’t mean we have to love the THINGS. Because, honestly, all those other things are just that, things.  And it’s OK to not love things. It’s more important that we love them, our children; the little people they are, the big people they are becoming.

You’re not less of a mom because you don’t appreciate every iota of baggage these little ones come with, because if we were all honesty with each other, none of us do. Yes, some of us handle different things better than others {honestly vomit, poopie diapers and poop-splosions don’t bother me in the least, but pull my hair or whine without ceasing and WATCH OUT!}, but that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate the little people we’ve been blessed with.

We’re not meant to do this mommy thing alone.

In what other “job” do you receive zero training, zero support, zero breaks, zero pay, and be expected to love every single stinkin’ second of it, with a maniacal smile on your face? It doesn’t exist. It’s OK Mamas, to be weary; to be tired of the endless pointlessness of picking up toys and clothes, dirty dishes and dirty diapers: It is OKAY! But this job is still so, SO worth it.  And your value of it isn’t determined by the tough minutes, but by the sweet moments. In the choosing of doing, day after day.

We’re not meant to do this alone, to keep our frustrations all bottled up inside. We’re meant to do this with God, in community with Him, our spouses, and other moms and dads. Even Jesus wasn’t too keen at times on the job He was called to do! But he sought God when he needed Him most. Mamas, it’s OK to be overwhelmed and frustrated, as long as we remember to draw near to the One from which we will always get our strength, the one who loved us first.

This post was first published on June 5, 2013 on my original blog.

a Little Getaway

Last weekend, Matthew and I headed to the ocean for a few days away. After the craziness that has been our lives over the past several months I was bordering on desperation for quiet and time listening to the crash of waves. The boys’ speech therapist had often talked about Block Island, so I googled it. A few clicks later I realized that it wasn’t that far, that we wouldn’t have to drop a fortune (it was off season), and that we could have a few days just to chill. I was sold.

We caught the 3pm ferry from Point Judith and away we went.

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We had two full days of just walking the beach, climbing rocks, eating, and being still.

Sea Breeze Inn Room #8 Block Island

Our first evening we drove around a bit before heading back to our supper: We had brought some bread, cheese, and fruit with us.

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Then it was back to the beach for the sunset.

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The next morning we met with a taste for adventure…climbing down the Mohegan Bluff’s 150 stairs and a final rocky (stairless) climb to the beach.IMG_7899 trimmed

We headed north in the afternoon to the North Lighthouse on Block Island.IMG_8028 trimme

The next day we just meandered…along beaches, through books, and writing. It was just quiet and peaceful and allowed my mind to untangle the knot that it had become.IMG_8101 trimmed

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Our last night we headed to a different sunset location…back to the North Lighthouse. I only had my iphone, I’d forgotten to grab the nikon with a zoom lens before we left, but I still got a few good sunset pictures.
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The next morning I was up early to catch the last of my ocean sunrises. The neat thing about Block Island is that it’s so far out at sea, that you get fantastic sunrises and sunsets…only a few miles apart.IMG_8250 trimmedWe headed home afterward. It was the ideal time away, for me, nature and quiet and just taking things slowly, without having to respond to every crisis that came up.