Tag Archives: Motherhood

A Body Worth Loving {coming to terms with the postpartum body}

Coming to terms with the postpartum body doesn’t come as naturally as it should. Awhile ago, Lisa-Jo Baker posted about loving your post-baby body for the sake of your children, especially daughters. Lisa-Jo responded to my comment saying:

“TRIPLETS??? Girl, your body deserves a medal. You should break out into song every time you see it in the mirror. Your body is a HERO!!! Give it something delicious right now. For reals.”

And I do.

I think quite frequently about my body and what it accomplished. That my body was just the way God designed it to be, for these three precious babies to have been born as healthy and as big as they were, despite being 6 weeks early; to have been able to avoid having a c-section.

I look at my stretch marks that go well above my belly button and the skin that hangs below where it should definitely have stopped, and I’m in awe of it. That these three babies were cradled in there for months. That these babies were born with no health issues, despite having been sharing a womb with 2 others.

Then I look at my body the way the world does, the way we all judge ourselves: I see a flabby stomach, that still looks like there could be a baby in there when dressed; I see arms that are much too soft, particularly for lugging 4 kids around all day (at 14, 18, 19, and 30 lbs each); I see thighs that rub and have their own tributaries of stretch marks, without thinking that those legs are strong and able to run after these kids, up and down stairs countless times a day.

A Body worth loving coming to terms with the postpartum body

I think to myself, “You weigh the same now as you did just before these three kids were born” and I hang my head in shame. Knowing that an over abundance of cookie dough, avocados and cheese, and a lack of true exercise are the cause of it.

I waver, back and forth, between loving this body that has brought forth life 4 times in 2 pregnancies, and despising the “curves” that I have yet to figure out how to dress in a flattering way. When I figure out how to love this body 24/7 I’ll let you know, but I somehow think it’s going to involve a lot more time with God and a pair of sneakers.

Comment Being Me, Motherhood, Triplets, Writing

One of those days….

Today….is one of those days, but it really began last night.

For whatever reason a 2 year old may have, Ave decided to pick up my iPad from the kitchen counter and unceremoniously deposit it in my lap….where my dinner was. Yea.

Avocado smushed into the headphone jack. I gently cleaned it out with a paper clip, then a q-tip to get what was left. All was good. Life continued on.

This morning Ave put a show on, but there was no sound. I figured she accidentally muted it. Nope, it says the “headphone” is in….no, no it’s not.

Babies starting screaming for breakfast, 2 year old is demanding attention, and I’m in the middle of my own crisis.

Babies get fed, 2 year old is still making demands, the iPad is still not working, and I feel it bubbling up, scalding hot, ready to erupt. It does, spewing fire and destruction EVERY WHERE.

It’s one of those days.

I try to rein in the flow. I only succeed at minimizing it. Still it comes, seething forward.

It’s not even 10 am and I’ve had it. I’ve yelled at Ave repeatedly, she lashes out by behaving even worse.

I think to myself: I really, REALLY need one of those selfish days. Children do exactly as they should, I’m a perfect mom, the house is immaculate and I manage to spend the entire day doing what I want. Obviously, that’s not going to happen.

It’s the kind of day when no matter how I pray it doesn’t. get. better. I pray again, changing the words, nothing. Everything conspires against me: Ave, the iPad (which I really hope I can fix), bills, laundry, dishes…all of it dragging me into the pit of my own, and every one else’s, destruction.

Comment Uncategorized