There is no quick answer…culturally we always comment and flatter females for how they look, very rarely acknowledging their work and efforts.

Two years ago I was down to 178 lbs, weigh lifting for 30 minutes 7 days a week, walking 3 miles 7 days a week, watching everything I ate, and it showed.

I had NEVER been that in shape in my LIFE…EVER! And it was fantastic! It was fantastic to hear how great I looked, how toned my arms were, how great my butt looked. It was like a first hit of a drug.

But it was unsustainable. The physical, the eating, the constant craving for affirmation that I looked good, was desirable, and was VALUED because of it.

Out of 38 years in my life during only 1 of them have I felt valued and seen and appreciated by society. That year.

2020 I’m 25 lbs heavier, I don’t weight lift at all, walking doesn’t do anything for my pant size or weight, and I’m constantly going back and forth between eating right and eating what feels good.

I berate myself that I let myself go, that I put all that work in, had promised myself to NEVER go back there (I even got rid of “those clothes”) …and I did. I “failed” myself.

This year should be a lesson to all of us that we all fail, we all struggle, that things are freakin’ hard on the regular for most of us.

But the takeaway from that lesson is that we need to do better at valuing those around us for who they are, not just what they look like, and I don’t mean just empty platitudes, but actual intentional words of affirmation.