We’ve talked about a lot this month: From, what does it look like to pursue your husband, to figuring out his love language and rediscovering who he is, and where sex falls into all of this. There’s one part we haven’t talked about, the most important part of pursuing your husband: YOU!

That’s right, despite all of the things we’ve talked about this month YOU are the most important part of pursuing your husband, and it’s for a very simple reason….he’s married to you. Now before you think that I’m going to give you all of these idealistic thoughts about what you need to be doing to yourself to pursue your husband, adding more things to feel guilty about when you can’t accomplish them, I’m not. What I am going to do is tell you one very simple thing….

You can’t impart what you don’t possess….
Chip Ingram

What does that mean? It means if you’re tank isn’t full, this whole pursuing-your-husband-thing is not going anywhere.

I want you to take a very long and deep look into your own heart, into your own life, and decide where you can cut back. Your kids don’t need to be involved in numerous activities, you don’t need to have the big house and the fancy cars, you don’t need to have the latest shoes or hair products….and I’m not saying having those things is unnecessary. What I am saying is there are places in your life where you can re-prioritize: Where you can find a few minutes here and there to fill yourself up.

We’ve become obsessed in our society with doing as much as we can while being empty. We praise the ones who manage to seemingly do it all, but the reality is doing it all leaves us very alone and very exhausted. I want you to think about the things that make you feel beautiful, that make you feel alive and do them for yourself. Maybe it’s taking time for a hobby, maybe it’s putting a nicer outfit on.

If you feel alive and beautiful you will be in a place that you are desiring to give and pour into others, and now, with a month full of prayers and ideas, you will be better able to pour into your husband without expecting him to reciprocate to you. Don’t wait for your husband to make you feel beautiful, do it for yourself, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.

We talked about this in one of our very first sessions; why we need to make our husbands a priority. There’s something that I need you to realize: The relationship we have with our husbands is the single most important relationship we will ever be in, next to our relationship with God. Sounds extreme doesn’t it, but it’s true. Our homes, our kids, our jobs, our lives will all go to pot if we don’t prioritize our marriages.

It’s hard…I totally get it. We feel like there is a constant gun to our heads when it comes to kids and jobs and housekeeping. The only one not holding a gun to our head is our husband, and most likely that’s because he has his own guns. Ask yourself: Can you afford to NOT prioritize your husband? Divorce is expensive, and not just in the monetary sense. It will cost you, your spouse, and your kids everything. *

We have a lot of demands on our time. I get that. How about we take some of those demands and use them to pursue our husbands. I know you’re thinking, “Seriously?! I’ve got enough on my plate.” This has more to do with a change of heart, than adding more things to your to do list. There are so many things that we do, as the wife, that we end up doing begrudgingly. Feeling as though our husband should take the initiative to do those things.

Tomorrow I’m going to talk about what this can look like, but today, I want you to think about the myriad of things you already do in your home and how you can do them differently, so as to bless and pursue your husband.

*Find more posts from this series here: Pursuing Your Husband.